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365x750 AM PAGES MUSEBUNKER 102 PROCESS Reading the Water saviour333 Writers Room

Sunday morning

Misread

like diamonds from Chinatown
flooding in rivers of despair

Sunday Morning

A glimpse of light
I feel life
Heed a warning
Before moving on

Was it with merit
or foreboding
in a mythological
way?

Wise old crone
the Hermit
High Priestess
share this cup

It’s a glorious
sabbath
if marine layer’s
your thing

A day to take
stock
Pay heed to
ominous warning

Without playing
with
dire threat
Not just yet

Through the long
lens of time
ashes strewn
so much dust

Disappeared
the day you
went away
Never stay

The pain
just won’t
Go away
Give you up

Your guilt
such a snitch
Your brain
*secret weapon *

of mass
instruction
play-by-play
compunction

a way
to go on
knowing
the truth

The language is designed to be Simple, Small, Flexible and Fast.

Bretton Woods was a highly politicized system that was prone to crisis and required constant intervention and controls to continue functioning.

More importantly*, postwar monetary relations were not a salve to political tensions, as is often contended. In fact, the politicization of the global payments system allowed nations to use monetary coercion to achieve political and security ends, causing deep conflicts within the Western Alliance.

For the first time, Gavin reveals how these rifts dramatically affected U.S. political and military strategy during a dangerous period of the Cold War.”

Topics to be discussed this week

The constituents

The audience

The rest

Love never fails
Rejoice with the truth
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The Outside World

Never good enough

  • merely concealing a barren emptiness behind an independent-seeming façade.

What kind of cry is this?

No one can say.

For sure..

 “Other people’s expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one’s being”.

Angel’s allies Bully Alleys

tamed tarnished

selves

harnessing

a barren

wasteland of oblivion

Authentication of self-esteem

The danger was particularly acute where the baby had to provide attunement for the mother/parents, rather than vice versa, building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis.[11]

A compromised ego

Ghostface inauthentic

a pseudo-self of

Fortified

Harbingers

manifest at will,

activate

freedom’s antidote.

The loneliness of freedom

the annihilating experience of the exploitation of the hidden true self itself

…exhibit powers only rarely and this activation is always brought on by severe stress.

by means of introjections, even attains a show of being real

building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis

-Donald Woods Winnicott FRCP (7 April 1896 – 25 January 1971

The self is a relation which relates itself to its own self, or it is that in the relation that the relation relates itself to its own self; the self is not the relation but that the relation relates itself to its own self.
—–Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death: A Christian Psychological Exposition for Upbuilding and Awakening

THE RELATION RELATES ITSELF TO ITS OWN SELF – have you met Narcissus?

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365x750 Hey_19 MUSEBUNKER 102 PROCESS Reality saviour333 The Outside World Working Girl

“fourth street”

Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.

If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.

Hear me purr.

I’m fragile – don’t let the faint bravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.

Loaded biased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one

Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic

Who loves the sun?

Burdens like a loaded

Freight train

What gifts would you like to develop

What gifts would you like to develop

“the turn”

an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.

Take Note of Your Body Language

Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.

This guy:

  • Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”

Or this chick:

  • If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.

Raise your hands if you know this next monster!

  • The Narcissist Bossiere

Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.

Warning signs –

  • extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
  • Self-Absorption
  • Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
  • Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
  • stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.

How did we get here?

Um no thank you.

Ya sure?

incredulous at sanity

Ya. Sure.

He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.

You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.

She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.

She woke up in hell – the job interview.

Job and job

Suffering without uttering one complaint

What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly

And yet

Here we are

The Infinite Game

#FreeBritney

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365x750 AM PAGES Creative Cadre MUSEBUNKER 102 PROCESS saviour333 Writers Room

Scorpio Moon

Here it comes

Here it comes

It’s just your

nineteenth

nervous

breakdown

“Writing is … what I do to justify the air I breathe,” Nikki Giovanni once wrote in Contemporary Authors. “I have been considered a writer who writes from rage and it confuses me. What else do writers write from? A poem has to say something. It has to make some sort of sense; be lyrical; to the point; and still able to be read by whatever reader is kind enough to pick up the book.”

without any assistance or guidance from you
i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day
i have been stood up four times
i’ve left 7 packages on yr doorstep
forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left
town so i cd send to you have been no help to me
on my job
you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays
so i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before i go to work
charmin charmin
but you are of no assistance
i want you to know
this waz an experiment
to see how selifsh i cd be
if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover
if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another
if i cd stand not being wanted
when i wanted to be wanted
& i cannot
so
with no further assistance & no guidance from you
i am endin this affair

this note is attached to a plant
i’ve been waterin since the day i met you
you may water it
yr damn self

–Ntozake Shange

Artificial Verse

MIT has developed a machine that writes poetry based on keywords you provide.


I watch her frown. I cry hello.

The otak is tiny, soft and deep,
But she has promises to keep,

She rises from her bitter bed,
With thoughts of sadness in her head,
She idolises being dead.
Facing the day with never ending dread.


Woah, dude.

As a disclaimer the site alludes to its plagiarized unity. Wait a minute that sounds too familiar, I thought. Sure enough, the toads divulged in the mellow wood and I, A.I. took the road less traveled by and that motherfuc*&ers has made all the difference

This never happens because Catholicism

A Hombre Alone

With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.


The Road Not Taken 

Launch Audio in a New Window

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

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Multimedia The Outside World

Villa Real

The system is based upon ten (originally nine) glyphs.

The symbols (glyphs) used to represent the system are in principle independent of the system itself.

The glyphs in actual use are descended from Brahmi numerals and have split into various typographical variants since the Middle Ages.

Etymology

theintercept.com/2019/06/22/cbp-border-searches-journalists/

That much I expected. But then a third officer, whose name was Villarreal, carefully read every page of my 2019 journal, including copious notes to self on work, relationships, friends, family, and all sorts of private reflections I had happened to write down. I told him, “Sir, I know there’s nothing I can do to stop you, but I want to tell you, as one human being to another, that you’re invading my privacy right now, and I don’t appreciate it.” Villarreal acknowledged the statement and went back to reading.

That was just the beginning. The real abuse of power was a warrantless search of my phone and laptop. This is the part that affects everyone, not just reporters and people who keep journals.

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365x750 AM PAGES Creative Cadre Multimedia PROCESS The Outside World Working Girl

The Extreme Deep Field

2:17 in well you needn’t

Music is math

There is that

Or as she liked to put it

XDF

The extreme deep field

Of you who are not the only one

That’s artificial intelligence

And me

Hey hey hey hey….Alley’s the roughest place I’ve ever been
All the people down there….Livin’ for their whisky, wine, and gin

7 billion light years away

Felt more like 6 million

Closer than
5,500

Gal

Axes

galaxies

How do you exonerate a feeling?

OH to be fooled

is not to play the fool

Be kind heartened

Learn how to hunt your attacker

How can you possibly get enough time

One minute

Then another day

Bad deviations

Sad decisions

Finally make their play

Cher Baker plays

These foolish things

It’s as if he’s the only one who knows

she thinks

not alone

Just isolated

in her own debris

Calibrated to degree

take it easy

3:27

Black eyed peas and rice

XDF is the deepest image of the sky ever obtained and reveals the faintest and most distant galaxies ever seen.

  • An eXtreme Deep Field of Dreams

“XDF allows us to explore further back in time than ever before”, said Garth Illingworth of the University of California at Santa Cruz, principal investigator of the Hubble Ultra Deep Field 2009 (HUDF09) program.

explore further back in

time than

ever before

The universe is 13.7 billion years old.

  • the XDF reveals galaxies that span back 13.2 billion years in time

So, .5 billion years, just unaccounted for (・・?

The early universe was a time of dramatic birth for galaxies containing brilliant blue stars extraordinarily brighter than our sun.

Yet 4,000 jobs will be lost in the industrial North. 4,000 people who aren’t your father, or brother, or otherwise denuded tree of life, stripped of industry by the forces at work at this particular time in this particular place, called Britain, a former great power, whose claim to fame in 2019 is all the fish and watery creatures (eels, loch Ness or Nessie, are filled with coke. Saturated in cocaine. High as Top Gun.

(Free Willy followed Jaws, the Cuba Gooding, Jr. Ididerod movie was made after Old Yeller, White Fang, Benji and light years away from Benji: the Cold War Years and Benji: before the opioid crisis, and other tails…

Mike McGyver arrested as a girl, for drug residue on his overlord plane.

B-b-b-b-buh-buh-buh-benji and the Feds

The light from those past events is just arriving at Earth now, and so the XDF is a “time tunnel into the distant past.”


The youngest galaxy found in the XDF existed just 450 million years after the universe’s birth in the big bang.
  • The light from those past events is just arriving at Earth now, and so the XDF is a “time tunnel into the distant past.”
  • just 450 million years after the universe’s birth in the big bang, baby Galaxy was born in a morgue

1-light is a slug;

2-time tunnel?

3-how distant past?

Life = get addicted, go to detox tough love

When I’m rushing on my run

And I feel just like

Jesus sun

How is it this way we’ve become

Gentleman fentanyl

Bogieman grief

Set-up just

to set ‘er down

Lie to disguise

Gave the blues

you choose

HEROIN &

subpar

DNA

Safehouse for the Muses,

I’m

Humming along

Bring a disruptor

Take a micro dose

of the American dream

and check your notifications in the morning

reality is nothing more than our dreams turned into banalities.

Jamake Hightower, Primal Mind

honky hanging

Cracker Barron

of munch house

oh yeah

He died

Didn’t he

Overdose?

Bunch of em showed up

All two of Em

Including nine multiple personalities

Didn’t he allegedly burn up in a car

A pacer in fact

Completely in tact

Larger than life

King boy georgette

Of long lines

and razor blades

Everything was escaping

From what now is a

vacant lot

Lit up

Fragmented

Held up high

expectations

Abound

Relentlessly

Sold

As long as there’s a

Buyer

He grinned

Chimmm chin charooo

So scary he was

And the circus tents at

State fairgrounds

growing up right by

the women’s state “farmand

across the James

schoolyard

straight coordinates

down stream

The men’s penitentiary

My mother would drive through ” these aren’t the violent criminals” hills while my brother and I took that shortcut more than we should. And driving recklessly he was, always in that 74 dasher we drove into the ground between Henrico and the independent city of Charlottesville.

Of the 41 independent U.S. cities,[1] 38 are in Virginia, whose state constitution makes them a special case. 

#FOMO

you’ve invaded my brain go away

Today

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What you give away

It occurred to me the other day that you might be lying about whether Ray Ray was a pathological liar.

Aren’t all junkies?

Creeps.

No. I was gonna say, everyone’s favorite junkie a premiere funky who gets sulky in his freewheeling scene -stealing calamide lotion staring down the street while you pop those friggled uptown

home of the brave my ass I heard her say as you walked away

But save that for another day

Sing the song of truth

No one knows your name

Bring in

calamity Jane

Citizen Kane

Nathaniel Zane

What?

Are you insane?

Some people call me loco

Mean Jean Feline

Coke machine

Powerful but

enamored

with the “wrong”

Crowd

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AM PAGES PROCESS Reality saviour333 The Outside World WAY OF LIFE Working Girl

Out with the g-damn old already

It’s the eve of a new year, two thousand and eighteen years after the death of Christ, one of a trilogy visiting us in triage, a place we seem to be fast approaching, as we speak.

Other than Hawaii, and Samoa, we are last to know the next year.

I’m in some kind of hell, with anger issues all around me and I’m just a stoner from Goochland, Virginia who happened to be in the New Yorker last week.

The yelling is bad for me. The lack of any form of patience and the jail house rock. Training for trauma. Again and ago and more system install.

“Which country has New Year first – New Year 2019 and last uninhabited places to observe New Year 2019 – 12 hour format World Time Zone”

https://www.worldtimezone.com/newyear.html

So here’s to the nineteenth may it be our last chance since 2020 the sources of the sources say it’s all over now.

It’s been a year of onslaught and I iSsubordination, firings and I quits from our pillars of piety, trust and wisdom.

Yeah right.

We walked the talk

Activate another device

*228

Now we belong to someone else™️

Switch accounts

Registered to the wrong me

HappyNewYear

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365x750 AM PAGES PROCESS saviour333 Working Girl Writing

Last Wednesday in March

March 29th, a Wednesday, idol march, marching tides of woe spread across the land and so..

 

With all that I have been through lately, not more than some, less than others, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain you have experienced, I guess being unconscious technically gives you a 9.7 or something because you don’t know it’s pain, it’s in and out of who you are and what they’re trying to take from you. In this case, my life.

img_9706

And that is the problem I face as I go through each day, with noises startling, except here, ironically, across from the UPS Delivery hub and near the brewery with its famous artist buttressing the 5 Freeway which always feels like it leads out of this place, whereas the others bury you right by the side of the road where they found you.

img_8991

It’s hard to have hope and faith when for the past 8 1/2  (one of my favorite Fellini movies) months, I have been consistently victimized by the system, which my frontier nature hates to say, I don’t believe in that, but it’s happened from a hostile neighbor to an illegally operating management company to the police themselves, twice now, once being tossed in jail for no reason and then treated as if I were some most wanted criminal because, quite simply, I was white. They will never say this or let it be told, everyone hates the dying race so much, they think it’s okay to be hating, berating and almost killing us – for the ‘sins of our fathers’ — they think it’s okay to destroy our lives, for no apparent reason, these are not people we even know, no crime of passion, no well-orchestrated specific reason to be brutalized over and over again except those of race and gender.)

The lawyer who committed slander, defamation of character, malicious intent and actually lied publicly in a harmful manner, deliberately trying to harm us by preventing us access to housing when we did nothing that she claims but because I was beaten and barely alive, could not do anything but try to recover for many many days and weeks and then someone lies and causes strife, illegally, a lawyer? Not such a great track record for our legal system from enforcement through supposed guardians of justice.

 The Sheriffs who detained us for picking up my own car because the tow yard is a chop shop about a mile from where I got beaten within an inch of my life, while trying to get a burger at McDonald’s. Who witnessed this? Why did the hospital then not call the police but told me they thought I was drunk so they just let me wait, and never questioned why my supposed husband never said he would be back or seemed to care if I actually woke up–somehow I did. I still have the stitches. The bruises are mostly gone. The head trauma, alas, will be with me longer, if not forever.

img_7081

The nerve damage done by LAPD and that first fiasco was permanent to my hands but this last beating and the hospital’s irresponsible treatment of me (all because I was unconscious — no one thought to consider that perhaps I was not drunk but had been harmed in some way maybe a car accident hit and run, as I thought, until we heard the recording of my call to my partner, which I still can’t bear to listen to, 6 weeks later…I cannot bear to hear it, it is too traumatic, still, overwhelming in the shadow of the past eight and a half months of consistent persecution — and for what reason? Who knows, if there even is one. Those who blame the victim always seek to find a way to plant their evidence on you, to keep their corrupt privilege operating without you in the way, or they just beat a woman almost to death in a parking lot for no apparent reason).

This is the first I have written of this publicly and some of you know or I tried to tell but you simply didn’t believe me or thought oh there she goes again, I seem to have the worst luck, maybe or you have already written me off for my freelance career and struggles to survive in a world that just was not ready for me. I was certainly ready to make my mark, a positive one, to live in peace and contribute positively to this world. That is all I seek and have ever sought. I don’t know how far I will get in that path as I am overwhelmed and exhausted each day, “just not the same” those around me notice, and for that I am pained, mentally, knowing ‘what has happened to me…’

To reiterate: around the third week of February the night before checking out of a very strange airbnb experience, I was severely beaten in a McDonald’s parking lot in the early evening hours and taken to White Memorial Hospital, who broke protocol at every turn, never even reporting my near-fatal ‘accident’ (accidental beating???) to the police, which is actually the law.

img_8550

I am invisible (adoptees know that), and expendable (the ‘film and television industry’ taught me that, after working with the most unloyal f-%$s you can imagine, and very few ‘friends,’ who actually have a soul in this town, I realized way too late) but now I feel destructible, worn-down, beaten up, tired, sad, soul-tired, suicidal on occasions but from existential nihilism more than any other specific, so don’t worry, I never do it, I love life and butterflies and the earth way too much, and I am just now trying to recover.

Please be kind. Please if you know me don’t use my honesty against me. I am just a human, trying to survive after someone speaking spanish probably two men, it sounded nicaraguan, beat me within an inch of my life near my car, which was impounded for $ 1,395 (all tow yards in Los Angeles say we were fleeced) and they called the sheriffs, who of course illegally searched us, what else do they do?

 

I suppose this is my statement since no police officer has ever asked. I have yet to see a judge. My case is a rare form known as a wobbler. Murderers and rapists are given the right to swift hearing but not the victim of police brutality.  This is the story of the past eight and a half months of my life, since last July.

 

Namaste, be well, my nerves are telling me to quit, the nerves in my hands, always from numb to pain now thanks to LAPD RAMPART back in July 2016.

 

Katherine E. Walker

born 1965 Cleveland, Ohio adopted 6 weeks later, my birthname we think is Turner