“fourth street”

Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.

If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.

Hear me purr.

I’m fragile – don’t let the faint bravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.

Loaded biased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one

Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic

Who loves the sun?

Burdens like a loaded

Freight train

What gifts would you like to develop

What gifts would you like to develop

“the turn”

an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.

Take Note of Your Body Language

Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.

This guy:

  • Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”

Or this chick:

  • If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.

Raise your hands if you know this next monster!

  • The Narcissist Bossiere

Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.

Warning signs –

  • extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
  • Self-Absorption
  • Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
  • Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
  • stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.

How did we get here?

Um no thank you.

Ya sure?

incredulous at sanity

Ya. Sure.

He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.

You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.

She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.

She woke up in hell – the job interview.

Job and job

Suffering without uttering one complaint

What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly

And yet

Here we are

The Infinite Game

#FreeBritney

Birth parents

Today is my 54th birthday. On this day, a Friday in 1965, my mother gave birth to me, the records say, at the Cleveland Clinic in the holy hour (3-4 a.m.).

She was 16, my birth father, 17.

From what I could tell from the “non-identifying” information I was charged $50 for when I was 23,

Seemingly, I had more in common with my father. Height, basketball, class president, a penchant for trains. My mother, who sacrificed a semester to deal with me, was fond of camping and played a musical instrument.

The Children Services letterhead, since the Red Feather agency (I think that was the name) had long since disbanded adding yet another level of erasure to my already amorphous existential origin- the letterhead and contents of this letter are all I have of my heritage, my genealogy, my DNA. Who you would say I am.

Always watched but never seen

Records of our days, cataloged with no sentiment allowed to obscure the meta data (subjective conjecture need not apply) dot the landscape, forming an infinite grid of mortality.

Mortal implies limits, so an infinite grid of solely self-aware beings, our qualia, in particular, not involving anyone or anything else, carries each individual’s uniqueness, believing we are the onliest as our way of coping with the fact that as far as we know, this existence is finite.

I tell you bout the onliest man I knowed come from Virginia.

Self-awareness consciously knows and understands character, feelings, motives, and desires.

feelings, motives, and desires.

There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.[3]

External self v Internal self

These mean very different things to you and me.

You see, by our society’s standards, I have no reference for the internal kind. Everything I got I learned without the leg up of familiar tradition, unspoken understanding and qualifying acceptance. In a way, I’ve always had to prove I am not a mistake even though clearly that is all I amounted to in the end, a foolish mistake for my mother to regret.

For some adoptees, particularly those who’ve experienced early childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, it may be difficult to form emotional bonds. Some studies suggest that adoptees may also be at higher risk for depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or substance abuse.

Me at 22 in NZ

This started as a very different piece but between the narcissist showing me his drawing without caring about my writing kind of interrupted the flow.

The fact that I can’t really ever relax or do something mildly extravagant because I can never seem to get ahead, I’m terrible at getting reimbursed and in general, there are a million things I want to do, see, hear, and learn and chasing down the ability to just survive (it’s been that way for 20 years in the film and television industry) isn’t really my thing-the fact that I can’t really celebrate isn’t where I had hoped to be by now.

I’m tired. Tired of this particular existence that, the longer I live, seems more and more futile. Everything we were told was either a lie or a myth and now I’m in no position to take on the world as I once was, having been severely beaten, tortured and most recrntly mugged and stabbed in the past three years.

That’s not even the half of it. That’s not even what makes me sad. It’s the lack of friends I find myself enduring these days. The sadness just never goes away.

My sixth birthday

Taxonomy of an Exabyte

  • All the words ever spoken by human beings can be contained in five exabytes.

  • The first word ever spoken

    Quintillions of metadata revealing too much

    EB by the Quintillions

    “15 exabytes of data are transmitted every month.”

    and that amount is increasing exponentially, like a swarm of virtual locusts, pariahs, swaths of sward prattle babbling Paranthropus


    So who is is transmitting this data? You. Me. Artificial intelligence, real stupidity.

    Data is a set of values of subjects with respect to qualitative or quantitative variables.

    Shallow

    one is constantly fed and the roots grow deep while the fruit never ceases to grow, while the other is rootless and detached from any source of nutrition, and it is, therefore, blown away by the next wind that comes through.

     the presence of so many imitative words in language spawned the linguistic Bowwow Theory, which postulates that language originated in imitation of natural sounds.

    Data becomes information when it is viewed in context or in post-analysis.
    Captured data is created or generated through purposeful investigation or analysis.
    Exhaustive data is gathered usually by machines or terminals as a secondary function.

    To reiterate– she’s recalcitrant. Too many Qualified Leaks per mouth.

    Exhausting exhaustive data with things known or assumed as facts, making the basis of reasoning or calculation using swarm intelligence
    collective behaviour of a group, esp social insects such as ants, bees, and termites, that are each following very basic rules

    Net Profit Margin. Gross Margin. Cost of Customer indecision. Promoter Score. Qualified Leads.

    changes in entropy occur when two blue teeth start to “negotiate” the key length used to encrypt the connection.

    The ostriches and the vultures

    The brain trust in the big house announced that they’re not planning for the prospect of a recession out of concern that it could help precipitate a crash, said quid pro quo.

    stop that train.

    You’re incompetent

    Incumbent

    How about that

    7 chakras
    Standing before the dark ages
    light snuffed out the hopeful faces
    faded, soft, immovable,
    she is stripped of just one of her powers

    resurrected by tomorrow

    resurrected

    for

    enculturation 

    A safe house for creativity coming soon to an algorithm near you….

    August 2019

    Hot sticky end of my 53rd year

    12 most…who you looking at, foo…?

    Please be creative with your titles: smart, short and eye-catching.

    Disciple.

    The St. of Discipline.

    Henry Miller.

    He had settled on the most magnificent piece of property on the far flung coast, years after starving had given way to dilettante displays of attention propped up by fangirls in their sunned entrances wearing summer dresses.

    Fortunes change
    Your summer has come

    Using a creative, impactful adjective after “12 Most” can go a long way. Check out the posts on this website for reference and whatever you do, avoid using adjectives that have been overused (ie: common, important, useful…).

    Don’t ever change

    He gasped holding his chest breathing pained and desperate now

    Until he got out the words —-


    The shoe

    Had made quite an impression

    on the ex-former-felon

    What’re you in for

    Hybrid crimes

    of dispassionate times


    Moral Prejudices

    Marlin Rand woke up, asleep, a dream within a living nightmare.

    You like to daydream, huhn?

    Head lost in the clouds.

    Are you listening?

    Listening not hearing. The world retracts into a distance illuminated by your reflection, the sun shaft reaching that taillight, sending shards of red through the blinds. Why do we call then blinds? Why are screen doors not calls deafs?

    The noise is deafening.

    The hard drive is named Friedrich Nietzsche, the router Liza Minnelli and the broadband a traveling troupe of Keynesian mechanics with carpetbaggers galore.

    Absurd, says Cumquat Jones, the nommedeplume of Tennessee Williams’ unknown soldier.

    … his “hypotheses” on the origins of morality to reading his friend Paul Rée’s book The Origin of the Moral Sensations (1877) and finding the “genealogical hypotheses” offered there unsatisfactory.

    Nietzsche decided that “a critique of moral values” was needed, that “the value of these values themselves must be called into question”. To this end Nietzsche provides a history of morality, rather than a hypothetical account in the style of Rée, whom Nietzsche classifies as an “English psychologist”[2] (using “English” to designate an intellectual temperament, as distinct from a nationality).

    Cataloging your usage

    After abandoning “Don’t waste your time,” I still needed a receptacle for the ongoing churn of real time, actual human assessment of the tools of our digital trade.

    I’m an unofficial tester of all things related to aortic writings of a familiar lean. I’ve tried most interfaces and delved into a multitude of platforms. I stopped short of learning how to code (for dummies, et al) because I am too old.

    The notion that I would fill up that brain storage space with a language designed to communicate with a machine that is supposed to evolve with me in the time space continuum just isn’t as interesting as discovering the one hundred she eleven languages officially considered “lost” since only one speaker of its native tongue remains.

    Rastro philio pustrocity

    Rastrophiliopustrocity was hard to come by these days, but she prevailed.

    These dialects of our tribal languages are inextricably woven into the human (auto corrects to kung-fu, btw🤔) ability to commiserate, collaborate, communicate and concentrate on the meaning of words between like-minded folk.

    Those spoken and written lexicons adapted with us over time.

    Mutter see

    Lena L. Leon

    Tuko pamoja.

    Together pajamas.


    So then, what could’ve been the very first word to ever be spoken?

    I have three theories.

    Cuidado! a warning to your child that the wooly mammoth behind them is a threat to humankind’s existence.

    I love you. The word love needed to be made one day.

    God.

    Either in caveman prayer or attached as namesake for that particularly desperate invocation, of mythological proportions, why have you forsaken me which must be addressed to some “one.”

    We needed an anchor, preferably guttural, perhaps elliptic, but definitely a one syllable word for that guy.

    We had to assign forever a gutwrenching association to some supposed creator (would the word for God be different had we known we were worshipping atoms as Adam?).

    The poet never knows.

    Battle cry


    For the record

    June 27, Two-thousand nineteen

    Review of “mailbuzzr”

    Graph and Stat

    The possibility for greatness exists: fast, ability to maintain semblance of control over mailbox folders, loads ginormous amounts of unread emails without crashing like other apps. But no snooze option? Can’t customize the swipe actions? All I want is a better version of mailstrom where I can delete multiple emails sent by the same robot and actually check emails I want to respond to (mailstrom aka chuck in mobile platform – talk about weird branding) is good for mass deletion that’s it. So I tried buzzr for a second time since their app popped up as the bee’s knees. All I can say about it is the aesthetic is working for me, it loads fast and the notification sounds are rad. Other than that, there is nothing to set it apart from spark or Edison’s email (which has some terrific features but crashes too much) app which has added features to save you money based on your e-commerce records (without being cumbersome).

    No ability to add email addresses beyond outlook or Gmail is limiting as well since I still maintain an old yahoo account due to the  personal and professional accounts associated with it. Not being able to do that means mailbuzzr cannot be the sole email app needed to manage an inbox  behemoth.

    Predictive Discourse

    No, no, let me guess?!

    What? (*mouth full)

    ah

    Let me guess what you’re going to say next!

    Why?

    I would let you

    predict, manipulate, disclose the expression of  anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day…

    Literary tomes

    Yeah coz you only have

    37,000 “thoughts”

    which IS NOTHING!

    An irrevocable negative bias

    We have anywhere 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, yes and on a daily basis these are 80% – 90% of negative thoughts that’s insane and most often they are the same thoughts that we have thought every day before yesterday. For as long as we can remember.

    This is it

    A Hollywood diatribe

    A Washington fable

    A Broadway revue

    A three-ring circus sideshow.

    Did anyone feel that earthquake yesterday?


    Recused 10:14 a.m. on a cool, overcast June gloom morning, the fifteenth if June two thousand and nineteen.

    Godspeed, Mandate Namaste, forever and ever booyah zombie.

    Our brain and mind both are hard wired to overestimate the threats and underestimate the resources and opportunities.

    From ancient sciences to today’s modern scientists have come across a term known as negative bias.

    Egotists never seek to help anyone, regardless of their circumstances.

    I to the negative power

    Zeno’s dichotomy

    Sun

    The sun causes the fabric of space

    to warp

    String cheese theorists