Categories
365x750 AM PAGES MUSEBUNKER 102 PROCESS Reading the Water saviour333 Writers Room

Sunday morning

Misread

like diamonds from Chinatown
flooding in rivers of despair

Sunday Morning

A glimpse of light
I feel life
Heed a warning
Before moving on

Was it with merit
or foreboding
in a mythological
way?

Wise old crone
the Hermit
High Priestess
share this cup

It’s a glorious
sabbath
if marine layer’s
your thing

A day to take
stock
Pay heed to
ominous warning

Without playing
with
dire threat
Not just yet

Through the long
lens of time
ashes strewn
so much dust

Disappeared
the day you
went away
Never stay

The pain
just won’t
Go away
Give you up

Your guilt
such a snitch
Your brain
*secret weapon *

of mass
instruction
play-by-play
compunction

a way
to go on
knowing
the truth

The language is designed to be Simple, Small, Flexible and Fast.

Bretton Woods was a highly politicized system that was prone to crisis and required constant intervention and controls to continue functioning.

More importantly*, postwar monetary relations were not a salve to political tensions, as is often contended. In fact, the politicization of the global payments system allowed nations to use monetary coercion to achieve political and security ends, causing deep conflicts within the Western Alliance.

For the first time, Gavin reveals how these rifts dramatically affected U.S. political and military strategy during a dangerous period of the Cold War.”

Topics to be discussed this week

The constituents

The audience

The rest

Love never fails
Rejoice with the truth
Categories
Working Girl

Ah, the double standard

The list of double standards women face on their path to public office is plenty long: They should be pretty, but not distractingly so. Assertive, but never aggressive. Maternal, yet devoted exclusively to their careers. And every word that passes their lips should be spoken in a tone, volume and cadence that is pleasing to the ever-alert ears of their audience.

The path to any career not just public office but this was a story about women who run for president.

Now, you may ask yourself, where does it mention her looks? Have you ever noticed how most people when they reference a woman, often list the “way she looks” first in their descriptors, yet for a man, it’s his accomplishments, obvious potential and charming personality traits.

“A real smart cookie” isn’t something you say about the plucky upstart who defied the odds if that cookie is male.

Aggressive v Assertive

In modeling and etiquette school (yes, I was raised in the South with its cotillion and debutantes), we were taught to be assertive. Not aggressive. We were neither at the time, so this was confounding. Some might say liberating. Others, more trouble than it’s worth.

Assertive meant you stopped short of truly making any demands, always maintained a polite comportment with corresponding ladylike demeanor and could be perennially felicitous no matter the occasion. Suffering in silence slowly faded in popularity, and burning your bra was ultimately impractical.

Mother’s Little Helper, the blue pill. Salve for pent up discontent which evolves into aggression, if you don’t quash it early.

Be assertive is code for go ahead, but not too much.

“You’re too emotional.” I wonder how that sliding scale works – for women, it’s voicing any upset over being mistreated. Hysterical is just a few steps away.

But a man? Oh he’s just passionate! He really believes in what he’s saying! This guy’s serious! Give him what he wants! He’s a take charge kind of a guy!

Who does she think she is? She’s crazy! A real hydra! Harpy!

When I was in fifth grade, I wanted to be a CEO. I didn’t really know what they did but they seemed commanding, powerful. Perhaps that merely countered the powerlessness I had endured being molested starting at four years old. Perhaps it was the suits and heels.

At some point around the same time, I wanted, clearly and cognizantly, of sound mind and body, to be President of the United States.

The thoughts all girls have.

Harshly judged

Categories
Working Girl

We’ll have to trust

Categories
365x750 Creative Cadre saviour333 Writers Room

Retrieved

No matter how inept

the justification which

inevitably follows

the folly

which results

in realization

and to realize

is to die a little inside for

realizing connotes a

finality to that

problem as yet

unsolved

I realized when I slammed the door,

it hit me in the – okole!

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, honey!!!!!

-but here’s the kicker :

Realize it then decide to never do that again or sign right back up.

What’s the definition of insanity?

To retrieve the words each time

a crucial plea

You’re so dramatic

They said

But I’m good at the

stori arc

She waivers

Perhaps she has lost her touch

The words had floated by her life raft

Before she was ready

before she wanted to go

No matter how sorry you are //

You can’t bring him back

A moral lexicon of virtue

is

not just a general collection of words; instead, it deals with how those words are activated, stored, processed, and retrieved by each speaker.

Necessary

to finish the story

Modern analytical empiricism […] differs from that of Locke, Berkeley, and Hume by its incorporation of mathematics and its development of a powerful logical technique.

But what if I don’t want all the Answers

was the last thing

she said

The logical form of a proposition is a way of representing it (often using the formal grammar and symbolism of a logical system), to reduce it to simpler components if necessary, and to display its similarity with all other propositions of the same type.

Ah Lorca she cried

It was a split second

Gone in a blink

Shoving off

Just about to begin

Federico del Sagrado Corazon de Jesus Garcia Lorca

your Generation of 27

symbolism, surrealism, and futurism

executed by the Nationalist Forces

The poet’s

body has never been found

since the fall of a dictator ruler

in an establishment called

The second Republic

shot a day later by the Nationalist

Blood Wedding for a

Bourgeois society

Fuente Vaqueros

Huerta de San Vicente, Valderrubio

“Sonata”, “Ballade” and “Nocturne”

Come home

to the colorless gradually

taking hold

Categories
Multimedia

The mass

And

God said, in Latin, broadcast live from above Satan’s lair, situated, precisely and according to worldwide big brother goo goo radio Gaga – it’s gonna save your life but it’s gonna hurt – the amount of space occupied by a three-dimensional object as measured in units (such as quarts or liters) or capacity, or the ability to receive or contain the maximum amount or number that can be received– God said absolutely nothing.

In 1977, the serial murderer Ted Bundy is escorted out of court at the Pitkin County Courthouse, having just been captured after six days on the run when he escaped the same courthouse. The Post Independent recently had its long-sealed safe opened by a locksmith, revealing numerous old photo negatives, including this one.

A long sealed safe not opened by a locksmith is the beginning of our story. Come along.

Join the Einstein of another potboiler set – ahem – did you catch luke Skywalker cameeoh-in on criminal minds? Mark Gordon?

If I had to pick my moments today it would be Rhianna and Eminem’s love hate ballad as I considered how it made me feel – especially after alice in chains, rooster – and they say Americans are soft?

The Frith is here and he wants to know why you are here

And suddenly pushing buttons

Truly Frédéric you do not scare me.

mother courage, Godot, Doug Kenny – none compete with Kubrick Stephen King MA Jong and that sorcerer we pretended not to see.

The vastness of the pacific a place many just underestimate – thank you pacific especially the Hawaiian Islands for letting me live. Embracing me actually. But I loved you and was a gifted steers person – we’re talking rain man status.

 your brain is still a bit more about this one and only the most important thing in my opinion is that it was good singing

(that was artificial intelligence interpretation of my predictive poetic lyrics cat fight on the fridge)

Categories
The Outside World

Never good enough

  • merely concealing a barren emptiness behind an independent-seeming façade.

What kind of cry is this?

No one can say.

For sure..

 “Other people’s expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one’s being”.

Angel’s allies Bully Alleys

tamed tarnished

selves

harnessing

a barren

wasteland of oblivion

Authentication of self-esteem

The danger was particularly acute where the baby had to provide attunement for the mother/parents, rather than vice versa, building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis.[11]

A compromised ego

Ghostface inauthentic

a pseudo-self of

Fortified

Harbingers

manifest at will,

activate

freedom’s antidote.

The loneliness of freedom

the annihilating experience of the exploitation of the hidden true self itself

…exhibit powers only rarely and this activation is always brought on by severe stress.

by means of introjections, even attains a show of being real

building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis

-Donald Woods Winnicott FRCP (7 April 1896 – 25 January 1971

The self is a relation which relates itself to its own self, or it is that in the relation that the relation relates itself to its own self; the self is not the relation but that the relation relates itself to its own self.
—–Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death: A Christian Psychological Exposition for Upbuilding and Awakening

THE RELATION RELATES ITSELF TO ITS OWN SELF – have you met Narcissus?

Categories
PROCESS saviour333 The Outside World The Portal Project Writers Room

Nothing’s

Nothing is everything

we have completely failed at understanding the vastness of our universe.

Located more than 13 BILLION light years away, the Hubble space telescope found countless galaxies, each galaxy containing around one trillion stars.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

How many stars are in the universe?

According to astronomers, there are around 10 billion galaxies in the observable universe alone.

the observable universe

must presuppose an unobservable counter weight universe but what cannot be observed-can we conceive of its existence?

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

….assuming an average of 100 billion stars per galaxy would suggest 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 1 billion trillion) stars exist in the observable universe.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

One billion trillion

Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.” —Cosmos

Categories
365x750 Hey_19 MUSEBUNKER 102 PROCESS Reality saviour333 The Outside World Working Girl

“fourth street”

Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.

If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.

Hear me purr.

I’m fragile – don’t let the faint bravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.

Loaded biased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one

Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic

Who loves the sun?

Burdens like a loaded

Freight train

What gifts would you like to develop

What gifts would you like to develop

“the turn”

an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.

Take Note of Your Body Language

Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.

This guy:

  • Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”

Or this chick:

  • If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.

Raise your hands if you know this next monster!

  • The Narcissist Bossiere

Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.

Warning signs –

  • extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
  • Self-Absorption
  • Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
  • Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
  • stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.

How did we get here?

Um no thank you.

Ya sure?

incredulous at sanity

Ya. Sure.

He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.

You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.

She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.

She woke up in hell – the job interview.

Job and job

Suffering without uttering one complaint

What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly

And yet

Here we are

The Infinite Game

#FreeBritney

Categories
AM PAGES PROCESS Reality Writing

Birth parents

Today is my 54th birthday. On this day, a Friday in 1965, my mother gave birth to me, the records say, at the Cleveland Clinic in the holy hour (3-4 a.m.).

She was 16, my birth father, 17.

From what I could tell from the “non-identifying” information I was charged $50 for when I was 23,

Seemingly, I had more in common with my father. Height, basketball, class president, a penchant for trains. My mother, who sacrificed a semester to deal with me, was fond of camping and played a musical instrument.

The Children Services letterhead, since the Red Feather agency (I think that was the name) had long since disbanded adding yet another level of erasure to my already amorphous existential origin- the letterhead and contents of this letter are all I have of my heritage, my genealogy, my DNA. Who you would say I am.

Always watched but never seen

Records of our days, cataloged with no sentiment allowed to obscure the meta data (subjective conjecture need not apply) dot the landscape, forming an infinite grid of mortality.

Mortal implies limits, so an infinite grid of solely self-aware beings, our qualia, in particular, not involving anyone or anything else, carries each individual’s uniqueness, believing we are the onliest as our way of coping with the fact that as far as we know, this existence is finite.

I tell you bout the onliest man I knowed come from Virginia.

Self-awareness consciously knows and understands character, feelings, motives, and desires.

feelings, motives, and desires.

There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.[3]

External self v Internal self

These mean very different things to you and me.

You see, by our society’s standards, I have no reference for the internal kind. Everything I got I learned without the leg up of familiar tradition, unspoken understanding and qualifying acceptance. In a way, I’ve always had to prove I am not a mistake even though clearly that is all I amounted to in the end, a foolish mistake for my mother to regret.

For some adoptees, particularly those who’ve experienced early childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, it may be difficult to form emotional bonds. Some studies suggest that adoptees may also be at higher risk for depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or substance abuse.

Me at 22 in NZ

This started as a very different piece but between the narcissist showing me his drawing without caring about my writing kind of interrupted the flow.

The fact that I can’t really ever relax or do something mildly extravagant because I can never seem to get ahead, I’m terrible at getting reimbursed and in general, there are a million things I want to do, see, hear, and learn and chasing down the ability to just survive (it’s been that way for 20 years in the film and television industry) isn’t really my thing-the fact that I can’t really celebrate isn’t where I had hoped to be by now.

I’m tired. Tired of this particular existence that, the longer I live, seems more and more futile. Everything we were told was either a lie or a myth and now I’m in no position to take on the world as I once was, having been severely beaten, tortured and most recrntly mugged and stabbed in the past three years.

That’s not even the half of it. That’s not even what makes me sad. It’s the lack of friends I find myself enduring these days. The sadness just never goes away.

My sixth birthday