Ah, the double standard

Humanity sore

The list of double standards women face on their path to public office is plenty long: They should be pretty, but not distractingly so. Assertive, but never aggressive. Maternal, yet devoted exclusively to their careers. And every word that passes their lips should be spoken in a tone, volume and cadence that is pleasing to the ever-alert ears of their audience.

The path to any career not just public office but this was a story about women who run for president.

Now, you may ask yourself, where does it mention her looks? Have you ever noticed how most people when they reference a woman, often list the “way she looks” first in their descriptors, yet for a man, it’s his accomplishments, obvious potential and charming personality traits.

“A real smart cookie” isn’t something you say about the plucky upstart who defied the odds if that cookie is male.

Aggressive v Assertive

In modeling and etiquette school (yes, I was raised in the South with its cotillion and debutantes), we were taught to be assertive. Not aggressive. We were neither at the time, so this was confounding. Some might say liberating. Others, more trouble than it’s worth.

Assertive meant you stopped short of truly making any demands, always maintained a polite comportment with corresponding ladylike demeanor and could be perennially felicitous no matter the occasion. Suffering in silence slowly faded in popularity, and burning your bra was ultimately impractical.

Mother’s Little Helper, the blue pill. Salve for pent up discontent which evolves into aggression, if you don’t quash it early.

Be assertive is code for go ahead, but not too much.

“You’re too emotional.” I wonder how that sliding scale works – for women, it’s voicing any upset over being mistreated. Hysterical is just a few steps away.

But a man? Oh he’s just passionate! He really believes in what he’s saying! This guy’s serious! Give him what he wants! He’s a take charge kind of a guy!

Who does she think she is? She’s crazy! A real hydra! Harpy!

When I was in fifth grade, I wanted to be a CEO. I didn’t really know what they did but they seemed commanding, powerful. Perhaps that merely countered the powerlessness I had endured being molested starting at four years old. Perhaps it was the suits and heels.

At some point around the same time, I wanted, clearly and cognizantly, of sound mind and body, to be President of the United States.

The thoughts all girls have.

Harshly judged

“fourth street”

Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.

If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.

Hear me purr.

I’m fragile – don’t let the faint bravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.

Loaded biased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one

Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic

Who loves the sun?

Burdens like a loaded

Freight train

What gifts would you like to develop

What gifts would you like to develop

“the turn”

an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.

Take Note of Your Body Language

Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.

This guy:

  • Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”

Or this chick:

  • If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.

Raise your hands if you know this next monster!

  • The Narcissist Bossiere

Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.

Warning signs –

  • extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
  • Self-Absorption
  • Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
  • Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
  • stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.

How did we get here?

Um no thank you.

Ya sure?

incredulous at sanity

Ya. Sure.

He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.

You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.

She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.

She woke up in hell – the job interview.

Job and job

Suffering without uttering one complaint

What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly

And yet

Here we are

The Infinite Game

#FreeBritney

Birth parents

Today is my 54th birthday. On this day, a Friday in 1965, my mother gave birth to me, the records say, at the Cleveland Clinic in the holy hour (3-4 a.m.).

She was 16, my birth father, 17.

From what I could tell from the “non-identifying” information I was charged $50 for when I was 23,

Seemingly, I had more in common with my father. Height, basketball, class president, a penchant for trains. My mother, who sacrificed a semester to deal with me, was fond of camping and played a musical instrument.

The Children Services letterhead, since the Red Feather agency (I think that was the name) had long since disbanded adding yet another level of erasure to my already amorphous existential origin- the letterhead and contents of this letter are all I have of my heritage, my genealogy, my DNA. Who you would say I am.

Always watched but never seen

Records of our days, cataloged with no sentiment allowed to obscure the meta data (subjective conjecture need not apply) dot the landscape, forming an infinite grid of mortality.

Mortal implies limits, so an infinite grid of solely self-aware beings, our qualia, in particular, not involving anyone or anything else, carries each individual’s uniqueness, believing we are the onliest as our way of coping with the fact that as far as we know, this existence is finite.

I tell you bout the onliest man I knowed come from Virginia.

Self-awareness consciously knows and understands character, feelings, motives, and desires.

feelings, motives, and desires.

There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.[3]

External self v Internal self

These mean very different things to you and me.

You see, by our society’s standards, I have no reference for the internal kind. Everything I got I learned without the leg up of familiar tradition, unspoken understanding and qualifying acceptance. In a way, I’ve always had to prove I am not a mistake even though clearly that is all I amounted to in the end, a foolish mistake for my mother to regret.

For some adoptees, particularly those who’ve experienced early childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, it may be difficult to form emotional bonds. Some studies suggest that adoptees may also be at higher risk for depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or substance abuse.

Me at 22 in NZ

This started as a very different piece but between the narcissist showing me his drawing without caring about my writing kind of interrupted the flow.

The fact that I can’t really ever relax or do something mildly extravagant because I can never seem to get ahead, I’m terrible at getting reimbursed and in general, there are a million things I want to do, see, hear, and learn and chasing down the ability to just survive (it’s been that way for 20 years in the film and television industry) isn’t really my thing-the fact that I can’t really celebrate isn’t where I had hoped to be by now.

I’m tired. Tired of this particular existence that, the longer I live, seems more and more futile. Everything we were told was either a lie or a myth and now I’m in no position to take on the world as I once was, having been severely beaten, tortured and most recrntly mugged and stabbed in the past three years.

That’s not even the half of it. That’s not even what makes me sad. It’s the lack of friends I find myself enduring these days. The sadness just never goes away.

My sixth birthday

12 most…who you looking at, foo…?

Please be creative with your titles: smart, short and eye-catching.

Disciple.

The St. of Discipline.

Henry Miller.

He had settled on the most magnificent piece of property on the far flung coast, years after starving had given way to dilettante displays of attention propped up by fangirls in their sunned entrances wearing summer dresses.

Fortunes change
Your summer has come

Using a creative, impactful adjective after “12 Most” can go a long way. Check out the posts on this website for reference and whatever you do, avoid using adjectives that have been overused (ie: common, important, useful…).

Don’t ever change

He gasped holding his chest breathing pained and desperate now

Until he got out the words —-


The shoe

Had made quite an impression

on the ex-former-felon

What’re you in for

Hybrid crimes

of dispassionate times


Find the sinkhole

I have decided to write the gray American novella, where nothing is great just chalky grey like the Greys pasty anatomy of conspiracy theories where secret service reptilian half-breeds are always British.

Meanwhile, the natives are restless and a stretch of doom creeps, breathless.

Jagged ex-whys and all the imagination in dream land won’t fix a fork in the road, bone spurs on a road less traveled, for a reason.

Predictive Discourse

No, no, let me guess?!

What? (*mouth full)

ah

Let me guess what you’re going to say next!

Why?

I would let you

predict, manipulate, disclose the expression of  anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day…

Literary tomes

Yeah coz you only have

37,000 “thoughts”

which IS NOTHING!

An irrevocable negative bias

We have anywhere 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day, yes and on a daily basis these are 80% – 90% of negative thoughts that’s insane and most often they are the same thoughts that we have thought every day before yesterday. For as long as we can remember.

This is it

A Hollywood diatribe

A Washington fable

A Broadway revue

A three-ring circus sideshow.

Did anyone feel that earthquake yesterday?


Recused 10:14 a.m. on a cool, overcast June gloom morning, the fifteenth if June two thousand and nineteen.

Godspeed, Mandate Namaste, forever and ever booyah zombie.

Our brain and mind both are hard wired to overestimate the threats and underestimate the resources and opportunities.

From ancient sciences to today’s modern scientists have come across a term known as negative bias.

Egotists never seek to help anyone, regardless of their circumstances.

I to the negative power

Zeno’s dichotomy

Sun

The sun causes the fabric of space

to warp

String cheese theorists

The Facts of Existence

A Safehouse for Muses
SANCTUARY

We may solve, circumstantially, the augmented reality of a parallel universe.

Eurasia, a penultimate groupthink epiphany arises out of a simple equation.

Spillover effect

Spiraling, extreme, volatile, carbon-dated, altered sequences of DNA adapting to robo-vacs, wired rocks & the smart abacus as dimensions revert to chaos, incrementally – because

chaos is where it goes.

THEY ALREADY MANIPULATE OUR WEATHER PROJECT woodpecker

Woodpecker Project

American scientists working for the Pentagon have published research which demonstrates how to hide history as it happens.
A team at Cornell University working with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (Darpa) has published a report in the journal Nature demonstrating how to hide an event for 40 trillionths of a second.

Two beams of particles travel round this tunnel are made to collide

The dispersion of the material is manipulated in time

Time:

the black hole in orbit

semantic equivocation.

the black hole of inaccuracies

  • dark energy

  • The black hole sun

    time is invariable through all portions of the universe

    These firms support mission-critical, high bandwidth applications involving cloud-based computing utilizing machine-to-machine connectivity.

    Chimp

    like chips

    clip

    Stockholm

    Stepford

    Saints and sinners,

    frozen dinners

    But you don’t

    can’t say how

    all that you do not know

    accumulated,

    Tied up in a bow

    semantic equivocation.

    the blockchain-backed registry provides a decentralized mechanism for centralized mechanics’ collateral damage


  • ˈɛlzəviːr

  • Elsevier – one of the world’s major providers of technical information.
  • As opposed to non-technical disinformation.

  • Their grip on information
  • ‘includes the entire academic research lifecycle, including software and data-management, instruction and assessment tools.[4]’

    a fragile mental picture of what was happening with each step of the algorithm.

    It is Friday before memorial day