Never good enough

  • merely concealing a barren emptiness behind an independent-seeming façade.

What kind of cry is this?

No one can say.

For sure..

 “Other people’s expectations can become of overriding importance, overlaying or contradicting the original sense of self, the one connected to the very roots of one’s being”.

Angel’s allies Bully Alleys

tamed tarnished

selves

harnessing

a barren

wasteland of oblivion

Authentication of self-esteem

The danger was particularly acute where the baby had to provide attunement for the mother/parents, rather than vice versa, building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis.[11]

A compromised ego

Ghostface inauthentic

a pseudo-self of

Fortified

Harbingers

manifest at will,

activate

freedom’s antidote.

The loneliness of freedom

the annihilating experience of the exploitation of the hidden true self itself

…exhibit powers only rarely and this activation is always brought on by severe stress.

by means of introjections, even attains a show of being real

building up a sort of dissociated recognition of the object on an impersonal, not personal and spontaneous basis

-Donald Woods Winnicott FRCP (7 April 1896 – 25 January 1971

The self is a relation which relates itself to its own self, or it is that in the relation that the relation relates itself to its own self; the self is not the relation but that the relation relates itself to its own self.
—–Søren Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death: A Christian Psychological Exposition for Upbuilding and Awakening

THE RELATION RELATES ITSELF TO ITS OWN SELF – have you met Narcissus?

Nothing’s

Nothing is everything

we have completely failed at understanding the vastness of our universe.

Located more than 13 BILLION light years away, the Hubble space telescope found countless galaxies, each galaxy containing around one trillion stars.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

How many stars are in the universe?

According to astronomers, there are around 10 billion galaxies in the observable universe alone.

the observable universe

must presuppose an unobservable counter weight universe but what cannot be observed-can we conceive of its existence?

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

….assuming an average of 100 billion stars per galaxy would suggest 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 1 billion trillion) stars exist in the observable universe.

1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

One billion trillion

Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.” —Cosmos

Thursday dusk arrived slow

Don’t waste your time coz I already did!

Quick reviews of the gaps in our apps, human technology.


8 1/2

I disagree
with this headline, you’ll see.

Letter never sent, part 4

bTake what you need and leave the rest. 7:41 pm cool air finally as we wait on Chicago style pizza with onions so you choke!

Review of Door Dash (terrible name)

I don’t like that they ripped off their drivers (now I tip cash) and they got giant start up finance from Saudi Arabia, who should have been chastised for journalist death so that is bad. But. Their service is getting better, I hear the drivers are getting paid and they paired up with square cash which I love. The dash pass isn’t really worth it and I’ve had my food jacked on more than one occasion – literally given to anyone who says yes when driver said are you (name). Yeah, I’m Wanda… So I think they rank 3 after grub hub (better vitals less snafus) and Uber eats which is fast cheap and predictable. So door dash if you order frequently and can take advantage of their promos gets 4 out 5.

“fourth street”

Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.

If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.

Hear me purr.

I’m fragile – don’t let the faint bravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.

Loaded biased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one

Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic

Who loves the sun?

Burdens like a loaded

Freight train

What gifts would you like to develop

What gifts would you like to develop

“the turn”

an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.

Take Note of Your Body Language

Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.

This guy:

  • Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”

Or this chick:

  • If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.

Raise your hands if you know this next monster!

  • The Narcissist Bossiere

Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.

Warning signs –

  • extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
  • Self-Absorption
  • Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
  • Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
  • stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.

How did we get here?

Um no thank you.

Ya sure?

incredulous at sanity

Ya. Sure.

He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.

You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.

She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.

She woke up in hell – the job interview.

Job and job

Suffering without uttering one complaint

What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly

And yet

Here we are

The Infinite Game

#FreeBritney

Taxonomy of an Exabyte

  • All the words ever spoken by human beings can be contained in five exabytes.

  • The first word ever spoken

    Quintillions of metadata revealing too much

    EB by the Quintillions

    “15 exabytes of data are transmitted every month.”

    and that amount is increasing exponentially, like a swarm of virtual locusts, pariahs, swaths of sward prattle babbling Paranthropus


    So who is is transmitting this data? You. Me. Artificial intelligence, real stupidity.

    Data is a set of values of subjects with respect to qualitative or quantitative variables.

    Shallow

    one is constantly fed and the roots grow deep while the fruit never ceases to grow, while the other is rootless and detached from any source of nutrition, and it is, therefore, blown away by the next wind that comes through.

     the presence of so many imitative words in language spawned the linguistic Bowwow Theory, which postulates that language originated in imitation of natural sounds.

    Data becomes information when it is viewed in context or in post-analysis.
    Captured data is created or generated through purposeful investigation or analysis.
    Exhaustive data is gathered usually by machines or terminals as a secondary function.

    To reiterate– she’s recalcitrant. Too many Qualified Leaks per mouth.

    Exhausting exhaustive data with things known or assumed as facts, making the basis of reasoning or calculation using swarm intelligence
    collective behaviour of a group, esp social insects such as ants, bees, and termites, that are each following very basic rules

    Net Profit Margin. Gross Margin. Cost of Customer indecision. Promoter Score. Qualified Leads.

    changes in entropy occur when two blue teeth start to “negotiate” the key length used to encrypt the connection.

    The ostriches and the vultures

    The brain trust in the big house announced that they’re not planning for the prospect of a recession out of concern that it could help precipitate a crash, said quid pro quo.

    stop that train.

    You’re incompetent

    Incumbent

    How about that

    7 chakras
    Standing before the dark ages
    light snuffed out the hopeful faces
    faded, soft, immovable,
    she is stripped of just one of her powers

    resurrected by tomorrow

    resurrected

    for

    enculturation 

    A safe house for creativity coming soon to an algorithm near you….

    August 2019

    Hot sticky end of my 53rd year

    Cataloging your usage

    After abandoning “Don’t waste your time,” I still needed a receptacle for the ongoing churn of real time, actual human assessment of the tools of our digital trade.

    I’m an unofficial tester of all things related to aortic writings of a familiar lean. I’ve tried most interfaces and delved into a multitude of platforms. I stopped short of learning how to code (for dummies, et al) because I am too old.

    The notion that I would fill up that brain storage space with a language designed to communicate with a machine that is supposed to evolve with me in the time space continuum just isn’t as interesting as discovering the one hundred she eleven languages officially considered “lost” since only one speaker of its native tongue remains.

    Rastro philio pustrocity

    Rastrophiliopustrocity was hard to come by these days, but she prevailed.

    These dialects of our tribal languages are inextricably woven into the human (auto corrects to kung-fu, btw🤔) ability to commiserate, collaborate, communicate and concentrate on the meaning of words between like-minded folk.

    Those spoken and written lexicons adapted with us over time.

    Mutter see

    Lena L. Leon

    Tuko pamoja.

    Together pajamas.


    So then, what could’ve been the very first word to ever be spoken?

    I have three theories.

    Cuidado! a warning to your child that the wooly mammoth behind them is a threat to humankind’s existence.

    I love you. The word love needed to be made one day.

    God.

    Either in caveman prayer or attached as namesake for that particularly desperate invocation, of mythological proportions, why have you forsaken me which must be addressed to some “one.”

    We needed an anchor, preferably guttural, perhaps elliptic, but definitely a one syllable word for that guy.

    We had to assign forever a gutwrenching association to some supposed creator (would the word for God be different had we known we were worshipping atoms as Adam?).

    The poet never knows.

    Battle cry


    For the record

    June 27, Two-thousand nineteen

    Review of “mailbuzzr”

    Graph and Stat

    The possibility for greatness exists: fast, ability to maintain semblance of control over mailbox folders, loads ginormous amounts of unread emails without crashing like other apps. But no snooze option? Can’t customize the swipe actions? All I want is a better version of mailstrom where I can delete multiple emails sent by the same robot and actually check emails I want to respond to (mailstrom aka chuck in mobile platform – talk about weird branding) is good for mass deletion that’s it. So I tried buzzr for a second time since their app popped up as the bee’s knees. All I can say about it is the aesthetic is working for me, it loads fast and the notification sounds are rad. Other than that, there is nothing to set it apart from spark or Edison’s email (which has some terrific features but crashes too much) app which has added features to save you money based on your e-commerce records (without being cumbersome).

    No ability to add email addresses beyond outlook or Gmail is limiting as well since I still maintain an old yahoo account due to the  personal and professional accounts associated with it. Not being able to do that means mailbuzzr cannot be the sole email app needed to manage an inbox  behemoth.

    Villa Real

    The system is based upon ten (originally nine) glyphs.

    The symbols (glyphs) used to represent the system are in principle independent of the system itself.

    The glyphs in actual use are descended from Brahmi numerals and have split into various typographical variants since the Middle Ages.

    Etymology

    theintercept.com/2019/06/22/cbp-border-searches-journalists/

    That much I expected. But then a third officer, whose name was Villarreal, carefully read every page of my 2019 journal, including copious notes to self on work, relationships, friends, family, and all sorts of private reflections I had happened to write down. I told him, “Sir, I know there’s nothing I can do to stop you, but I want to tell you, as one human being to another, that you’re invading my privacy right now, and I don’t appreciate it.” Villarreal acknowledged the statement and went back to reading.

    That was just the beginning. The real abuse of power was a warrantless search of my phone and laptop. This is the part that affects everyone, not just reporters and people who keep journals.