Become that person by doing those things that that better version of you would do.
Have “the life you’ve always wanted.” Go ahead, go.
Easy peasy, they said.
Two times in recent history (ancient history would be the days of my youth ), I’ve witnessed in print the declaration by women supposedly of my demographic (more on that later) that yes, in fact, they did have it all.
I didn’t stick around to find out the fucking imperative of a caveat like, but certainly not limited to, “the problem was what to do with it,” or equally as reprehensible,”But I just wasn’t happy.”
The resounding chatter from the committee in my head (you know the ones who update the mistakes made ticker tape spewing continuously forth from a dot matrix printer) enacts the dormant PRIMAL SCREAM policy although if I were to demonstrate, if might be received as a call to all crazies to meet for a smoke in the alley.
So instead, when I read, “I had it all/career, family, Buick” as the lead for their book, article, thesis, self-serving self-help romance novel
like diamonds from Chinatown flooding in rivers of despair
A glimpse of light I feel life Heed a warning Before moving on
Was it with merit or foreboding in a mythological way?
Wise old crone the Hermit High Priestess share this cup
It’s a glorious sabbath if marine layer’s your thing
A day to take stock Pay heed to ominous warning
Without playing with dire threat Not just yet
Through the long lens of time ashes strewn so much dust
Disappeared the day you went away Never stay
The pain just won’t Go away Give you up
Your guilt such a snitch Your brain *secret weapon *
of mass instruction play-by-play compunction
a way to go on knowing the truth
The language is designed to be Simple, Small, Flexible and Fast.
“Bretton Woods was a highly politicized system that was prone to crisis and required constant intervention and controls to continue functioning.
“More importantly*, postwar monetary relations were not a salve to political tensions, as is often contended. In fact, the politicization of the global payments system allowed nations to use monetary coercion to achieve political and security ends, causing deep conflicts within the Western Alliance.
“For the first time, Gavin reveals how these rifts dramatically affected U.S. political and military strategy during a dangerous period of the Cold War.”
we have completely failed at understanding the vastness of our universe.
Located more than 13 BILLION light years away, the Hubble space telescope found countless galaxies, each galaxy containing around one trillion stars.
How many stars are in the universe?
According to astronomers, there are around 10 billion galaxies in the observable universe alone.
the observable universe
must presuppose an unobservable counter weight universe but what cannot beobserved-can we conceive of its existence?
….assuming an average of 100 billion stars per galaxy would suggest 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (that’s 1 billion trillion) stars exist in the observable universe.
One billion trillion
Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic.” —Cosmos
bTake what you need and leave the rest. 7:41 pm cool air finally as we wait on Chicago style pizza with onions so you choke!
Review of Door Dash (terrible name)
I don’t like that they ripped off their drivers (now I tip cash) and they got giant start up finance from Saudi Arabia, who should have been chastised for journalist death so that is bad. But. Their service is getting better, I hear the drivers are getting paid and they paired up with square cash which I love. The dash pass isn’t really worth it and I’ve had my food jacked on more than one occasion – literally given to anyone who says yes when driver said are you (name). Yeah, I’m Wanda… So I think they rank 3 after grub hub (better vitals less snafus) and Uber eats which is fast cheap and predictable. So door dash if you order frequently and can take advantage of their promos gets 4 out 5.
Burnout has been recognized as an official disorder by the World Health Organization. It affects your ability to work [and] your emotions about work.
If that’s the case, I’m entering a period of remission.
Hear me purr.
I’m fragile – don’t let the faintbravado fool you. Scared shitless as they say. A bit apprehensive and a tad overwhelmed to Queen Elizabeth with a spot of tea. I still am horribly polite.
Loadedbiased toward a particular outcome, bearing a load, especially a large one
Or the fourth studio album by American rock band the Velvet Underground, released in November 1970 by Atlantic
Who loves the sun?
Burdens like a loaded
What gifts would you like to develop
What gifts would you like to develop
an NBA team has never gone an entire quarter without scoring a point.
Take Note of Your Body Language
Ask for company turnover [data] and turnover [data] for that individual manager.
Inability to handle any confrontation or assertion that there might be another way to do something, even if they brag about their “open door policy.”
Or this chick:
If you are need of constant admiration, will cut you when they do not feel appropriately admired, or feel otherwise shamed, humiliated, or disrespected.
Raise your hands if you know this next monster!
The Narcissist Bossiere
Don’t let those flannel shirts fool you, this guy can walk into any boardroom with the same aplomb he chops some wood at his cabin in Maine before cooking fresh trout for breakfast. Dave, Jai, Jym, Jin or Jamee – all the same. Great guys until they’re not.
Warning signs –
extremely competitive, with the people who work for them, people on their lateral level, or their superiors.
Extreme Friendliness: aka fake
Word Choice sets up a dynamic that can raise or lower the energy in a room. If they begin every sentence with a negative message and then try to diffuse it somewhat, it is likely that negativity prevails in their life and carries over into work.
stress level telegraphed to everyone in the department- you know the kind, blames you for solutions, misses the dysfunction when it’s gone oft n refered to as drama junkies.
He returned to Oslo. Killed 77 people while they wept.
You have to tune it out or else go insane, she said, Mona of Numbers and manners from letters.
She sighed. She was not a profiteering overseer and yet she gained innumerable margin from the inevitable failing called death, the suffering of the many at the hands of the few and the way poverty and exploitation of wealth can predict up to a point the ability to express a capacity for love, supporting another being – acknowledging the miracle that is life – this was a given.
She woke up in hell – the job interview.
Job and job
Suffering without uttering one complaint
What most people don’t understand is bench players do influence the outcome of the game greatly
Today is my 54th birthday. On this day, a Friday in 1965, my mother gave birth to me, the records say, at the Cleveland Clinic in the holy hour (3-4 a.m.).
She was 16, my birth father, 17.
From what I could tell from the “non-identifying” information I was charged $50 for when I was 23,
Seemingly, I had more in common with my father. Height, basketball, class president, a penchant for trains. My mother, who sacrificed a semester to deal with me, was fond of camping and played a musical instrument.
The Children Services letterhead, since the Red Feather agency (I think that was the name) had long since disbanded adding yet another level of erasure to my already amorphous existential origin- the letterhead and contents of this letter are all I have of my heritage, my genealogy, my DNA. Who you would say I am.
Always watched but never seen
Records of our days, cataloged with no sentiment allowed to obscure the meta data (subjective conjecture need not apply) dot the landscape, forming an infinite grid of mortality.
Mortal implies limits, so an infinite grid of solely self-aware beings, our qualia, in particular, not involving anyone or anything else, carries each individual’s uniqueness, believing we are the onliestas our way of coping with the fact that as far as we know, this existence is finite.
I tell you bout the onliest man I knowed come from Virginia.
There are two broad categories of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness.
External self v Internal self
These mean very different things to you and me.
You see, by our society’s standards, I have no reference for the internal kind. Everything I got I learned without the leg up of familiar tradition, unspoken understanding and qualifying acceptance. In a way, I’ve always had to prove I am not amistake even though clearly that is all I amounted to in the end, a foolish mistake for my mother to regret.
For some adoptees, particularly those who’ve experienced early childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, it may be difficult to form emotional bonds. Some studies suggest that adoptees may also be at higher risk for depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), or substance abuse.
This started as a very different piece but between the narcissist showing me his drawing without caring about my writing kind of interrupted the flow.
The fact that I can’t really ever relax or do something mildly extravagant because I can never seem to get ahead, I’m terrible at getting reimbursed and in general, there are a million things I want to do, see, hear, and learn and chasing down the ability to just survive (it’s been that way for 20 years in the film and television industry) isn’t really my thing-the fact that I can’t really celebrate isn’t where I had hoped to be by now.
I’m tired. Tired of this particular existence that, the longer I live, seems more and more futile. Everything we were told was either a lie or a myth and now I’m in no position to take on the world as I once was, having been severely beaten, tortured and most recrntly mugged and stabbed in the past three years.
That’s not even the half of it. That’s not even what makes me sad. It’s the lack of friends I find myself enduring these days. The sadness just never goes away.
“Writing is … what I do to justify the air I breathe,” Nikki Giovanni once wrote inContemporary Authors.“I have been considered a writer who writes from rage and it confuses me. What else do writers write from? A poem has to say something. It has to make some sort of sense; be lyrical; to the point; and still able to be read by whatever reader is kind enough to pick up the book.”
without any assistance or guidance from you
i have loved you assiduously for 8 months 2 wks & a day
i have been stood up four times
i’ve left 7 packages on yr doorstep
forty poems 2 plants & 3 handmade notecards i left
town so i cd send to you have been no help to me
on my job
you call at 3:00 in the mornin on weekdays
so i cd drive 27 1/2 miles cross the bay before i go to work
but you are of no assistance
i want you to know
this waz an experiment
to see how selifsh i cd be
if i wd really carry on to snare a possible lover
if i waz capable of debasin my self for the love of another
if i cd stand not being wanted
when i wanted to be wanted
& i cannot
with no further assistance & no guidance from you
i am endin this affair
this note is attached to a plant
i’ve been waterin since the day i met you
you may water it
yr damn self
MIT has developed a machine that writes poetry based on keywords you provide.
I watch her frown. I cry hello.
The otak is tiny, soft and deep, But she has promises to keep,
She rises from her bitter bed,
With thoughts of sadness in her head,
She idolises being dead.
Facing the day with never ending dread.
As a disclaimer the site alludes to its plagiarized unity. Wait a minute that soundstoo familiar, I thought. Sure enough, the toads divulged in the mellow wood and I, A.I. took the road less traveled by and that motherfuc*&ers has made all the difference
With thanks to the poet, Robert Frost, for the underlying structure.
one is constantly fed and the roots grow deep while the fruit never ceases to grow, while the other is rootless and detached from any source of nutrition, and it is, therefore, blown away by the next wind that comes through.
the presence of so many imitative words in language spawned the linguistic Bowwow Theory, which postulates that language originated in imitation of natural sounds.
Data becomes information when it is viewed in context or in post-analysis.￼
Captured data is created or generated through purposeful investigation or analysis.
Exhaustive data is gathered usually by machines or terminals as a secondary function.
To reiterate– she’s recalcitrant. Too many Qualified Leaks per mouth.
Exhausting exhaustive data with things known or assumed as facts, making the basis of reasoning or calculation usingswarm intelligence
collective behaviour of a group, esp social insects such as ants, bees, and termites, that are each following very basic rules
Net Profit Margin. Gross Margin. Cost of Customer indecision. Promoter Score. Qualified Leads.
changes in entropy occur when two blue teeth start to “negotiate” the key length used to encrypt the connection.
The ostriches and the vultures
The brain trust in the big house announced that they’re not planning for the prospect of a recession out of concern that it could help precipitate a crash, said quid pro quo.
stop that train.
How about that
Standing before the dark ages
light snuffed out the hopeful faces
faded, soft, immovable,
she is stripped of just one of her powers
resurrected by tomorrow
A safe house for creativity coming soon to an algorithm near you….
After abandoning “Don’t waste your time,” I still needed a receptacle for the ongoing churn of real time, actual human assessment of the tools of our digital trade.
I’m an unofficial tester of all things related to aortic writings of a familiar lean. I’ve tried most interfaces and delved into a multitude of platforms. I stopped short of learning how to code (for dummies, et al) because I am too old.
The notion that I would fill up that brain storage space with a language designed to communicate with a machine that is supposed to evolve with me in the time space continuum just isn’t as interesting as discovering the one hundred she eleven languages officially considered “lost” since only one speaker of its native tongue remains.
Rastrophiliopustrocity was hard to come by these days, but she prevailed.
These dialects of our tribal languages are inextricably woven into the human (auto corrects to kung-fu, btw🤔) ability to commiserate, collaborate, communicate and concentrate on the meaning of words between like-minded folk.
Those spoken and written lexicons adapted with us over time.
Lena L. Leon
So then, what could’ve been the very first word to ever be spoken?
I have three theories.
Cuidado! a warning toyour child that the wooly mammoth behind them is a threat to humankind’s existence.
I love you. The word loveneeded to be made one day.
Either in caveman prayer or attached as namesakefor that particularly desperate invocation, of mythologicalproportions, why have you forsaken mewhich must be addressed to some “one.”
We needed an anchor, preferably guttural, perhaps elliptic, but definitely a one syllable word for that guy.
We had to assign forever a gut–wrenchingassociation to some supposed creator(would the word for God be differenthad we known we were worshippingatoms as Adam?).
The poet never knows.
For the record
June 27, Two-thousand nineteen
Review of “mailbuzzr”
The possibility for greatness exists: fast, ability to maintain semblance of control over mailbox folders, loads ginormous amounts of unread emails without crashing like other apps. But no snooze option? Can’t customize the swipe actions? All I want is a better version of mailstrom where I can delete multiple emails sent by the same robot and actually check emails I want to respond to (mailstrom aka chuck in mobile platform – talk about weird branding) is good for mass deletion that’s it. So I tried buzzr for a second time since their app popped up as the bee’s knees. All I can say about it is the aesthetic is working for me, it loads fast and the notification sounds are rad. Other than that, there is nothing to set it apart from spark or Edison’s email (which has some terrific features but crashes too much) app which has added features to save you money based on your e-commerce records (without being cumbersome).
No ability to add email addresses beyond outlook or Gmail is limiting as well since I still maintain an old yahoo account due to the personal and professional accounts associated with it. Not being able to do that means mailbuzzr cannot be the sole email app needed to manage an inbox behemoth.