For those I won’t forget 

the new moon closest to the shortest solar day
Calls our silences

back together 

to those times we forgot 

everything but the immediate 

command – to live in the face of pressure to absolutely give up, give in not buck up relentlessly past due date circumference  death.

You’d be surprised how wrong you are about me. If you’d only ever been listening.

This is my dad opening a Christmas present in our basement 

This is him in his prime. He was a beautiful swimmer, like my brother’s daughter. See, there is such a thing as nature v nurture and I’m just not sure where I fall in that mix at the moment, at this point in time, I’m not sure I want to find out where I came from, the nature part. If you’re just catching up, I’m adopted. 

Paradise Found was 22 acres and a crappy little house (I kept the tiniest bedroom always that is now part of the kitchen) where Liz and Barry raised Hector & Gertrude (our longest running romance of 250 ducks, 40 geese, various injured hawks and speciality rescue creatures).

 Almost every weekend for most the years of my childhood, we would take in injured animals because Dad had really wanted to be a zoologist instead of a radiologist. 

We rehabilitated a baby pig named Pearl, a  fawn, Daisy Dirl raccoon (she stayed), many garter snakes all named Charlie, an osprey, a few grebes, my pet duck movie die and my horse, Buck Z-O.

I did not realize how utterly unique my upbringing was until—sometime a while ago. But I also never let on the obvious quirks of my one-of-a-kind family such as my father reading Carlos Casteneda to me after dinner while I was going to an all-girl Episcopalian prep school adjusting to blue bloods and Faulkner, while contemplating medicine wheels, introduced by my western medicine practitioner eastern medicine admirer sort of father.

And here I stand as confused and confounded as ever, somewhat worse for the wear, some ways better aged like wine, no details offered just a wish and a hope on a wing and a prayer that it’s not just stupid and meaningless after all.

Tomorrow brings the last 4 days of an incredibly tumultuous year. So of course I want to steer my own ship. This you could predict. 

If you listened, if you hear. 

The bluff overlooking the river 

Saved my life 

I can safely assume 

from this distance 

the bird’s eye view

eagle eye scan 

the horizon 

for lost 

and found 



mirrored light 

thru apertures 

slowing time 

fast film 

light glistens holy forever 


Happiest time of my relatively happy life 

So far   

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