Things occur out of order

Things occur to me and then I am off on a side road and I may have forgotten why I ever cared about some of the work I had to do but I always did and now I just don’t care in the same way and that is astounding and I don’t know where to start so I start with the room, without all this dirt but actually having access to a bathroom. Not paying a slumlord, it’s not worth it, but just looking at these places annoys me because my experience with landlords has been they are swindlers in this town.

It becomes a game of what to leave behind.

The pros-cons lists bore me now. I almost get the same results following a horoscope as I do trying to compare square footage to skank factor of the design choices but I want short-term and I am spinning my wheels-why because sometimes I hate this place, circling around like a sour lemon drop candy in my mouth, the tart sweetness the surprise oasis gems on little side streets and the birds sing here.

This isn’t turning out the way I thought it would be. Officious and highly detailed planning. Everything’s changed, again. I remind myself daily of what my father would want me to be doing or at least the right frame of mind to be in and now I begin this next stage of the plan where I do nothing wrong and everything goes swell.

See you on the dark side.

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