The end is always the beginning
and this all started with
on my hands
why do you add a “k” to panic?
why? who makes these rules? I just want to know.
But if I knew, I suppose I’d be disinterested.
At this point, the best I can hope for is to be almost as good a writer as all the writers I love and study and emulate. At this point, all I can say is if someone threw a kid at me, I’d take care of it better than you would expect, because I would be better at taking care of someone else than myself, always have been, and that is perhaps the thing I most lack. At this point, I have said it all over and over again, but I suppose I could be accused of never being clear, never resolute in my decision to tell anyone the absolute worn out, baton down the hatches truth, because I know they simply couldn’t handle it. Whenever I tell anyone my ‘story,’ so to speak, they either know NOT what to say, say something dreadfully pitying or judgmental, both of which make me want to punch them in the face, or they somehow reveal that although they could possibly be intrigued, it would be after I was already dead. Eponymous is always the way to go with writing.
Unless you’re in love with it. As I am, and have always been. Squirreling it away in the fall out shelter because someday someone is going to come along and use it to start a fire.
Or perhaps the problem was not so much one of lack of skills as of fit. If you found yourself frustrated by the organization’s constant demands for quick, one-off solutions unlikely to add value over the long term, you may be a “craftsman” who’ll do better in a slower-paced company where management values well-designed and thoroughly integrated programs. Or if you found that constantly communicating and vetting your ideas in a large, bureaucratic organization was tedious, perhaps you should consider a smaller, more entrepreneurial company.
Once you’ve gleaned the two or three key lessons you should draw from your experience, move forward and don’t wallow in self-doubt or what might have been. You don’t want to ignore important messages about what will be required to succeed in your next job or that will help you target the best type of organization. However, your most valuable commodity is self-confidence. so don’t let that be eroded. As painful as your departure may be, with the right attitude and reflection you’ll take away some important lessons that can give direction and focus to the rest of a highly successful career.