Something must be telling me that I am not cut out for the work I have been falling out of for a while now; I like the work, it’s just the way business is done that is so very unfair and I am resisting by acting out. Wait, so I must be available all the time whether you are paying me or not? It’s that simple. Certain requirements should be compensated or let go — I mean, really? On hold is a thing of the past and taking advantage has become de rigeur. So rather than the past knee-jerk reaction of beating myself up and going on suffering, I am trying to admit why I am shooting myself in the foot as a sign from my innermost, screaming-to-be-heard, but readily ignored voice of instinct, that I should probably amp up the changing jobs scenario even as the dream of why I came here just cropped up in a long sleep.