My sentiments exactly…

In a nation run by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile and the rest of us are fucked until we can put our acts together: Not necessarily to Win, but mainly to keep from Losing Completely…. The Swine are gearing down for a serious workout this time around… So much, then, for The Road — and for the last possibilities of running amok in Las Vegas… Well, at least, I’ll know I was there, neck deep in the madness, before the deal went down, and I got so high and wild that I felt like a two-ton Manta ray jumping all the way across the Bay of Bengal. – Hunter S. Thompson

I feel particularly f-ed right now in this nation o’ swine. I can’t even support myself in the world these days — “until I can put [my] act together,” which feels impossible in ‘the industry’ I have chosen to commit too much time and energy to pursuing. I am so frustrated by the fact that I have the skills, brain and ability to do so much but have to struggle just to stay alive.

And to tell the truth means alienating people who might ‘hire’ you otherwise because everything’s always supposed to come up roses, right?

Why should you have to PAY for a job site when you clearly don’t have extra income to be spending on tentative (at best) leads? Why, when there is so much that needs to be done, are there so few of us being allowed to participate in — NOT EVEN the ACCUMULATION of wealth or a hope of a nibble at THE AMERICAN DREAM — a shot at having a decent life.

That is all I am asking for–not to have to worry every month or so about how I’m going to pay rent and my bills, whether I can ever get out of debt, if anyone will ever appreciate the level of skill, expertise and passion I bring to my work.

“They” say it’s all about attitude — as if telling yourself things are great suddenly turns them around, like a magic wand from Tinkerbell making it alright. I call it denial.

Thank you Hunter S. Thompson, although I’m sorry your pain caused you to end your life so violently, but glad Johnny Depp honored your wishes and shot your ashes out of a cannon. I hope my life ends up half as good as yours in the end.

“I returned to the Holiday Inn — where they have a swimming pool and air-conditioned rooms — to consider the paradox of a nation that has given so much to those who preach the glories of rugged individualism from the security of countless corporate sinecures, and so little to that diminishing band of yesterday’s refugees who still practice it, day by day, in a tough, rootless and sometimes witless style that most of us have long since been weaned away from.” – Hunter S. Thompson

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