Morning [not mourning] pages


A week after the last crazymaking endeavor left me utterly exhausted, wondering when am I going to get to set things up and see things through, which would make the whole process go that much easier, when am I going to get in that role?
The answer seems to be to find my own way. Keep tabs on my self. See what I can do, to stay focused and away from suicidal thoughts that just make me sick, manifest themselves in physical deterioration, when I ask to be released, I invariably get sick.
Now I just want to make my own way, I don’t want to follow in the footsteps of what I was supposed to be doing. I just want to make my tv shows, find an outlet, and sustain myself and a family and a farm.

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